Back again so soon?

Hello again! It’s been a few years huh? I wish I could say the not much has changed but that would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told. Now, do I want to go into everything that has happened over the past twenty some odd months, not really, as I’m sure you really don’t care that much. But I guess I will highlight on a few things just to get all 5 of you, actually 4 if we don’t include my grandma, that might read this up to speed.

Let me start by saying I didn’t win the award since I’ve been away from writing, which is why the title still stands. Unfortunately for my children and I we have learned that not everyone we encounter, even people we let into our lives, are worthy of our trust. I now know that I let someone deceive me, and even some of my family members, into thinking that he was dependable enough to eventually become my husband. And even though I ended it when I did, it sure did not come without a multitude of consequences.

The first one being that we became homeless. My children and myself were forcibly removed from where we were living because the person who I thought was taking care of us was in fact not doing so at all. So the 3 of us were left with nowhere to go and almost nothing but the clothes on our backs. My first instinct was to call my mom, as I’m sure most people would, but that didn’t quite pan out. The next call went to my father, which although it was much harder to do, ended with better results.

In October of 2014 we moved into my dad’s house, partially because we had no where else to go, and because he was having knee replacement surgery and would need my help taking care of himself. Everything was going well, he had the surgery and was recovering quite nicely and I had found myself a job that I was really beginning to like. But there is a reason he is my father and unfortunately I am a lot like him. Around Christmas time we really started to butt heads particularly because he thought that I wasn’t doing enough. Enough of what I will never know. But because of that he said we had to go. So then I made another phone call to my mom and got us a new place to stay for a while.

Right after the new year we moved across town to my mother’s house where she and my younger bother live. Things were really looking up. I was promoted into a new department at work and was absolutely loving it. My oldest was in school and loving it. And my little one still got to spend time with grandpa when grandma (mema) had to work. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until one February day when I went to take her over to Grandpa’s house and noticed that something was not right as soon as I pulled in the driveway.

Now that you definitely want to know what happens next I’m going to make you wait. Trust me, it deserves it’s own post.

 

When it rains…

When it rains, it pours. That is how that saying usually goes, right? That is definitely how it has always gone for us. If something bad happens we get hit with twelve other bad things shortly after. But not this time…. This time we may have gotten very lucky.

A few weeks ago one of my two vehicles was stolen. And I say mine because both only have my name on the title, but the one that was taken was the one that my husband primarily drives. He went outside to leave for work one morning and discovered it was gone. Of course we made a police report and called our insurance right away but having liability only doesn’t help much, or at all, and more than two weeks later we still have not heard anything from the police as to the whereabouts of the vehicle. Granted I knew there was no way they were going to actually search for it but I thought maybe it would have been seen by an officer at some point by now. However, we did have the Snapshot device from Progressive in that vehicle so I was able to look up my policy and find the vehicle usage, miles traveled, the times the car was turned on and off and the speed but unfortunately there is no GPS so I can’t pinpoint a location. All we have is a 15 mile radius from our house to go off of. So car stolen=rain…then we were left waiting for the downpour.

Waiting for the shit to hit the fan, but instead something awesome happened. We got a new car! Well, not brand new of course, but 2008 new which is way newer than any other vehicle either of us has previously owned. I’m still not quite sure how we managed it, but we did. The sales place and people that we dealt with were amazing. We got an amazing deal and still got everything we needed in the car we got. I guess after this past shower I got a rainbow instead…now if only I knew where that f*cking pot of gold was that should have come with it. Anything incredible happen to you and your family lately?

Instructing the Unwilling: A Potty Update

She is a big girl now!

I can finally say now with 98% certainty that my baby is fully potty-trained!!! And I say only 98% because I still expect a few night time accidents but we have only had one in the past week so I think she is doing great. I will still keep some pull-ups for emergencies but she hasn’t had one on in almost a month. Now I am wondering how long it will be before she realizes she does not need to change her big girl panties 6 times a day… LOL

Out of the Ordinary

One of the most dangerous machines known to man…

Earlier this week I had taken the kids to get a few groceries and then to get something for lunch to take home. We had parked and as I was getting ready to get the first load out of the car I noticed that there was a truck parked in the middle of the road and it’s owner and two other men were picking up a motorcycle from the middle of the road and bringing it into the parking lot. This immediately grabbed my attention and after I got the kids inside I went out to the men and discovered some of what had happened and then examined the gentleman that had crashed his bike and had blood everywhere. My medical training kicked in and I ran (well, more like a jog but that’s faster than I ever move) back to my apartment and got some old wash cloths damp and a dry towel and ran back out to the injured man. I handed him the wet wash cloths and then tried to stabilize his neck while trying to put pressure and stop the bleeding of the huge gash on his forehead. When he started to say that he was dizzy I went into leader mode and ordered one of the other men to go grab the folding chair off my porch for him to sit in. A minute or two later EMS showed up and I stepped back while they did a few things. Before they put him on the stretcher he asked me to keep an eye out for his wife and tell her what happened and which hospital he was going to. When she came to the site I filled her in and told her which hospital.

This was a very exciting/out of the ordinary/scary day. I loved being able to put my training to use and take charge and be professional in a bad situation. It was exhilarating and I would love to do something like that every day which is why I would eventually like to return to school to be an RN. The medical assistant school was a huge waste of my time and money but what’s done is done and I will move on to something better after I get some of the student loans taken care of. That day taught me exactly what I want to do and why I will be great at it…and it taught me to never let my husband own a motorcycle HAHA.

Anything exciting/out of the ordinary/scary happen to you lately? Let me know.

If the Two’s are Terrible, Then What are the Three’s?

My baby girl is 3 now!

Although it makes me sad that she seems to be growing up so quickly, I am also amazed at the leaps and bounds she has made and I cannot wait for her to show me all the things she can do and learn. Despite her early entrance into the world she has not let anything stop her and I could not be more proud. Just within the last few weeks she has gotten down potty training and is doing amazing. For her birthday we got her a bike and I have no doubt that the first we take her outside to let her ride she will go and go and go.

She is ready to ride, and of course she can’t do it without her new pink sparkly cowgirl boots!

My daughter has always been much more high maintenance than my son was. My son was the easiest baby in the world and I got very lucky with him, but then I had my daughter and I was reminded that every baby is different and if I got lucky the first time the second time would suck ass. Her two’s were awful most of the time and the amount of attitude I got from this 25 lb. thing was astounding. So I had my tough couple of years and now it’s going to get easier…right?

 

Justified Guilt

I don’t often feel guilt, not because I’m always perfect but it’s just something I try to not feel because it’s kind of like eating oreos, you can never eat just one. I feel that if you let yourself feel guilty for something for too long you will be stuck with it. And it will weigh on you until you cannot handle it anymore. With holding on to the guilt also comes blame, anger, and many other emotions that are not conducive to living a happy life. So I don’t like to feel guilty mainly because I know how quickly it could be me down.

There is one instance though that I can never stop the guilt. I don’t ever dwell on it, except for now, but every time I am put in that situation I want to hide like I’m trying to hide from a serial killer in my home. My flight or fight instinct in these situations is to get the f#@k away as quickly as possible.  These situations never last too long but it is more than enough time to think about every possible escape route I have and have a panic attack  at an 8 on the “crazy person” scale of 1 to 10.

I’m sure I would be in a lot of trouble if I lived in a city too much bigger than my own because these detestable situations would increase tenfold. I guess I should come out and say it now for those of you who haven’t figured out what I am going on about. I can’t handle pulling up to an intersection where a homeless person is standing asking for money or food or whatever. It’s not that they disgust me, it’s that I’m disgusted in myself for never helping.

Today this happened and I had just been to pay our water bill and was going to pay another bill and that’s all the money I had. And when I saw this person standing there holding his cardboard sign I wanted to help so bad but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it without cutting my own throat. I couldn’t do it because I had to pay that water bill or our water was going to be shut off.  I can’t subject my kids to that, but there I was subjecting this homeless man to the thing I could never let my child go through. I know I will never be able to help everyone, but I may never stop feeling guilty for every time I can’t.

If you only knew

There are very few things that get my blood boiling faster than hearing a pregnant woman who is two weeks from her due date and just “so tired” of being pregnant complaining that she wants the baby out and is willing to try anything and everything to get labor started. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO RUSH THIS!?! Just because you are uncomfortable? Wouldn’t you rather be uncomfortable for a few weeks but still have a healthy baby. You have no idea that there are so many mothers out there that don’t get that luxury. Can you even image being forced to have your baby early because  you and your babies lives’ are in danger?

In truth, should I let it bother me to the point where I am shaking just trying to write this? No I shouldn’t, but some people are so small-minded that they never even think of anyone else but themselves. My philosophy for any pregnancy is always baby first! Everything I do is for that baby, whether it be going on six different meds to control my high blood pressure and gestational diabetes, or having a dreaded C-section because my child’s heartbeat drops with every contraction. So my new goal is to enlighten people instead getting upset about idiots!

 

To be excited…or not to be

This could be me again real soon…

I may soon be joining the working mom population again and I’m not sure what to think. I would love to bring some more income into the house because we definitely need it and it would be nice to do something other than watch the kids all day but…just but.

If everything works out I will be working with my husband’s boss’s wife which will be great  because they are both more than willing to arrange our schedules so that we never have to have daycare. And that is amazing considering my biggest worry was that if I went back to work and we had to have a sitter that one of our paychecks would go straight to whoever was watching the kids. But know that means that if I’m working my husband will not be which means he will be responsible for the kids.

I love my husband, I truly do, but taking good care of the children is not one of his strong skills. He does keep them alive and we haven’t had any trips to the ER lately (I’m kidding honey, I love you!) but other than that he can be very hands off. With just him working right now the time that he spends at home is usually sleeping or playing video games and I’m afraid if I was working during those times when he is not he would continue to do the same thing. Maybe I’m just being a stickler but I really appreciate when my kids eat a meal that is composed of something other than things in their “snack drawer”. He makes it seem like it is too difficult to part himself from his computer, the bed, or the couch so he just tells my son to get them any food he can reach. I am definitely not trying to call him out though, he knows very well he does this and he knows exactly how I feel about it.

So this is why I am half excited to go back to work and half terrified. Any advice from other moms who have been a similar situation is more than welcome!!!

Bridges Burned

Burn, baby, burn!

I don’t particularly like burning bridges, not anymore than I like holding grudges, but sometimes it must be done. For the sake of my family, for the sake of our money (or lack there-of), and frankly for the sake of my sanity. There are few people that I have cut off wholly and completely and this particular one will definitely never be making an appearance in my home around me or my children.

I don’t want to go into the past too much but basically I just gave this person too many chances and every time she fucked me and/or my family over. I am nightmare if you mess with my children and I will go psycho on your ass. This person has experienced me in that mood many times and it is safe to say that he/she is absolutely terrified of me now, and with good reason.

Now the city I live in isn’t small by any means, but it is beginning to feel that way. Somehow this person managed to get a job where my husband works. He, lucky for them, does not feel the same way I do. I just think he has a horrible memory and is way to quick to forgive, but that’s just me. Since working with him they have engaged in the same kind of behavior that I cut ties for. And just recently I came to the understanding  that this person has had lots of recent time spent with the police because of drugs and other stupid shit.

Needless to say, I was right to tell this person to stay the hell away from me and my family. I wish them all the luck though because it seems like they are damn sure going to need it.

When Dreams Come True

Sweet Dreams!

Somehow I managed to pawn my hoodlums off on someone for the night. Now I have a huge list of things I want to get done while the kids are gone. But the first thing I am probably going to do though is take a nap. Haha, procrastination at it’s finest!