Sometimes I Can…

Be a really big bitch! I admit I often have a short fuse and if you piss me off I will tell you the truth, the whole truth, and I will probably not be so nice about it. So I guess I will just take the tome to go ahead and warn you about most of my triggers now.

• I HATE when people shorten my name! If I wanted to be called Sam I would introduce myself that way. So when I tell you my name is Samantha, I mean that’s my f-ing name!
• Old people driving…I think that one is self-explanatory.
• When I ask someone to do something, mainly my kids or husband, and even though I know they hear me they don’t do what I ask. Not really sure why they do this because they know when I have to ask a 2nd time I will be louder and I will have an attitude!
• When other people tell me something about my kids that I already know or that I know is wrong. Yes, this kind of goes hand in hand with  my post yesterday, but as I said I never say things out loud.
• I hate when other people make me late and part of the reason that happen is because it heightens my anxiety to a 12 on a scale of 1-10. If I am ready and waiting for a ride or waiting for my husband to get home so I can go somewhere and they are just the slightest bit late I start to freak! I will panic and call them many many times. I don’t know why this is either because I’m okay with being late because of me LOL.
• HEARTBURN!!! I have it constantly and it makes me cranky. I take four pills a day for it and I still have to have Tums or Maalox close just in case.
• I LOVE going to rock concerts but for some reason they always turn me into a super bitch. It’s like I have an alter ego who is fearless and rude to everyone…and I think her name is Sam. She will step on people, start fights with 400lb men, try to slice a guy’s neck with her fingernails, she is a badass bitch. Of course there was one concert that I went to pregnant…that was like Sam+Samantha(pregnant) x 4.
•  Horrible drivers/parkers…they induce copious amounts of road rage.
• My husband’s incessant online game playing, but not only that, the fact that he thinks he has to talk super loud when his mic is right by his face…which he is doing as I write this…so I am about to yell at him to be “f@^$ing quiet” for the 3rd time this week!
• Noisy neighbors. Unless you have an elephant up there, no one should make that much noise when they walk.

That’s all I can think of for now, although I’m sure there is a lot more shit that turns me into a bitch, these are the main ones. So be aware, I don’t enjoy being mean to anyone but if you do these things you better watch out for what’s coming next…

My husband…or not my husband…

In my first blog post I mentioned that story between and husband and I is complicated to say the least. So here is my explanation. We are technically not married by law, however we have been engaged and living together for almost four years now. But in the state of Kansas where we live we are considered common law married. Let’s start from the beginning…

We met through a mutual friend that I went to school with and that he worked with.Upon first meeting him I though my friend was NUTS! (Don’t worry, he knows this already) I saw nothing I liked, but I still gave him a chance and talked to him for a while that night.

Three or four weeks go by where we haven’t seen each other but we call each other once or twice a day. Finally I have him come over to my to watch a movie and that’s all it ends up being. A week later or so I have him come over again to hang out and I am absolutely exhausted so I am almost asleep on the couch and he notices how dirty my kitchen is and how my dirty dishes are piled up. I am on the couch about to fall asleep when I realize that he is in my kitchen doing all my dishes. He ended up staying so late that I just told him he could stay the night.

In the morning he gets up to go to work and when he is leaving I went to kiss him on the cheek (I mean the man did my dishes, he deserved at least that) but somehow one of us missed and it ended up being our first actual kiss. His reaction was shocked at first but then we gave me a smile that told me he was falling hard…and as it turns out so was I. It took me a while but I finally realized that it didn’t matter what he looked like but that he treated me better than anyone else I had ever dated and that was the best feeling in the world.

Six weeks after we started dating he bought me a ring (yes, I know it was very quick) and we have been together since then. He has been a wonderful father to my son whom isn’t biologically his child and then we had a baby girl together. Of course over the past four years we have had ups and downs, good times and bad but we have stuck it out. I’m honestly not sure if we would have made it through everything we have if we were not made for each other.

So for now we are not legally married but we would definitely like to be. Of course though, being a woman, I change my mind three times a day about how I want to do it! Sometimes I really want to just go to the courthouse and get it done. Other times I want an actual wedding with guests and a gorgeous dress and still there are times when I want to have a honeymoon wedding and just the two of us go somewhere beautiful (by the ocean preferably) and get married that way. One day I will be able to say I am married, period, end of story.